Dear readers,

I hope this post reaches you all in good health. Today, we shall see the eighteenth rule of Love from the novel “The Forty Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak.

If you want to change the ways others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.

I have observed it to be true, the way others treat myself is often exactly the same how I treat myself. Once a bottle of olive oil slipped out of my hands and broken in pieces in supermarket, and I looked around to see how others react to this (while apologizing). While many stayed neutral, the cashier comforted me and even offered me a new bottle while someone else despised me for my mistake (because she would have to clean the mess). I later asked myself how would I have reacted if I were her. It would be exactly the same, I realized and that made me feel less ashamed of this whole incident. I also realized that a part of me is also like that kind cashier lady.

I think if we really observe, we can find this rule to be true. How others treat us can give us some ideas about our subconscious mental footprints. This can be a good way to know oneself.

Thanks for reading!